This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
