I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize