Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
