If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
