Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
