just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
