please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
