Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
