I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
FUCK WHALES
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
