Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
