pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
