i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
