oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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