Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
