The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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