In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
