So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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