and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
