Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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