Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
