You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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