thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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