haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
