You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
