Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize