Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
