After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
