I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
