Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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