i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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