Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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