had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
