Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
