I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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