You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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