My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize