pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
