ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize