SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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