K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have fence marks all over my body
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
