Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize