she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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