just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
