we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
