WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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