Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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