Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
