Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
