I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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