Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
