You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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