my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
