Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
