I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she peed on how many people?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
