My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
