I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do herpes really smell.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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