im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
