There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
